A New Start: November 2009

I’m rotting. Rotting In lots of way. I did not show my love to my family enough. My mum is the one who always help me when I need her help. She cares for me, love me, and rather suffer than asking me to help.

Did I ever help her? For lots of time I kept speak to her rudely. I’m not a good son. I didn’t show love to her, I hurt her. I know I love her but she suffering and I’m stuck being lazy and ignore her. I suck! But mum, I LOVE YOU! I’m sorry! I’m just not brave enough to say sorry and I love you. I didn’t wish her happy birthday, I don’t know when was the last time I hug her, kiss her. I’m just so useless.

My dad is disappointed to me. He says my attitude change a lot and it’s from bad to worse. I agree with him. I can see it from myself. I suck in studies. Many people may think that I’m good in music, but seriously I’m not. I didn’t practice hard enough. I’m almost useless!

I’ve tried my very best to study but I can’t. Maybe not I can’t, it’s just my attitude. I still can feel how easy it was to me in every single paper I take in standard 6. I remember that the entire question is so easy because I’ve done it many times. Look at me now! I don’t even know what the question wants! I need to do more exercise!

About my attitude! I change a lot, I always show my face if I hate something. It’s wrong and I have to change. I always show no respect to others, I kind of hate myself for that! I want to be a better person. I’m sorry for those who I’ve hurt you before!

Breakdancing is something that I suddenly fell in love with! But for now I have to control myself.
Music! I will try my best to understand you more! I will practice hard!
Mum, Dad, Sis and bro! I love all of you! I’m sorry! Seriously I don’t know when the last time I told them “I love you” and hug them.

My darling! We’ve just started! I’m happy, but I sometimes we just have to control. I love you. I will tell my family soon about this! I’m thinking whether we can reduce texting each other or not but for now never mind because it’s holiday. We’ve know each other for more than 4years, I’ll try my best to make you feel happy. Result of both of us must be good, okay? This is to ensure that our parent won’t say anything.

I love all of you!
Family! Friends! Dear! All of you out there!
I’ll really appreciate you all!!!
And finally, I’m sorry mum! I love you!