I'm angry but I want to say SoRRY.

Talking bad about other people and back stepping is really a thing that I hate. Just a simply inference that have been said from his mouth make a lot of different. I’m full of anger right now, maybe I need time to cool down and acting back normal, but for now I can’t. I’m trying my best but why must people come out with their own story and simply accuse me when it’s not the truth? Never mind I think I just need time to forgive and forget. SORRY TO THOSE OF YOU. I’ll just try to liaise with you all, but please stop back stepping.

By the way,
Hope You Recover As Soon As Possible and All The Best In Your Exam!!!

Yes or No?? ans: NO...

My dad’s business was okay and my sister is enjoying (maybe) herself at Ipoh. For me this week was ok but I don’t feel happy with my society. There really lots of problem that can’t be verbalize, I wish it can be solve as soon as possible. I love this society very much but it’s making me sick of it because of the attitude the have.

For no reason she makes me very happy this few days but also make me very depressed, sad and also make me cry a lot this month. It’s a YES or NO. I still don’t know, but I think the percentage of NO is very high. I usually share my problems with her and I will feel better after that, but for this I can’t share with her because it’s about her. This makes my brain getting heavier and heavier and have push me to an extant that I will easily cry and lost control. Why my brain only got you? Whatever I do, whatever I think the word ‘You” will appears. I really don’t know what to do. I’m scared that I will hurt you because I’m not sure it’s a lust or its love. I don’t want to hurt you. My brain is really pain. I’m sorry if I do hurt you. I’ve really lost my confident. Should I give up? I don’t understand you. I don’t have a chance to understand. I’m really out of my mind can’t think well you make me think that way sometimes but some times u you make me think the other way round.

My exam is coming soon so do everyone except for some schools. Am I ready? The answer is NO. I can’t concentrate in my study because I’m still in a holiday mood. Wish that I can wake up from the dream in wonderland as soon as possible. Haha.

Nothing much happen this week, I can’t wait for 25 of July, because there will be a competition held in Penang. It’s a band display competition organize by Celcom. Besides that I wish I can go for the PEACE run on the 8 of August. My dad didn’t give a answer yes or no because he’s not sure whether my sister will be able to come back on that day and take care my bro or not. Really sad about this, the date line is on 27 of July, how can I answer her whether I can go or not if my dad doesn’t make a conclusion now? T.T

Words for words...

Words for words again...
I hate you > Gays
I love you > I miss you
I will try > Study

Bad days...

Life in school isn’t easy at all. For the pass few days I’m suffering in school. I and my form have been united because of that too, except for 4 peoples. Some of them are very childish; some of them don’t bother what is happening and also very rude. Whenever we have meeting I’m sure they will make lots of noise and whatever things come out from their mouth is usually meaningless and words that are very sarcastic. One of them is very rude and I don’t like his attitude. He likes to talk about other peoples parents and also insult other’s parents. What kind of human is this? Do he have parent? Why is he so impolite and don’t know how to respect other people’s parents? I think he don’t know how people feels when he speak in that way. His attitude is going to put him into tans of trouble, and I hope he can change before the troubles trouble him.
Back to the point, how can we, form 4 solve this problem? It’s not easy for us because it’s so complicated and not everyone is telling the truth. I always have my way to find whether people lie to me or not, so please don’t try to lie to me. There is a person who makes a big lie and my form 4 badge believes him so do the others. I wish he tell the truth before something get worse.
It have been 4 days include yesterday I didn’t sms her. I’ve tried to go to the place she stay and try my luck whether I get to see her or not, but when I went there, her house were dark and I think there is no one there at all. Most probably she when for tuition or maybe out for something? So, I called my friend that stay near by and chatted with him for quite a long time.
I still remember that I cried on the 29 of June 2009. I think I cried because of the pressure I have in school and also missing her to much until I cry. This is the 1st time a feel that bad in this year and after I cry I fall asleep. The worst thing is I didn’t reply her message. When I wake up about 1 something, I saw 4 messages and I feel very bad because I did not reply her. A sudden feeling that I get when I was looking the message was she’s sad. I wish she’s not but no matter what happen, I still going to tell her this:
I’m very sorry!!!

I feel that I’m very ludicrous for falling in love a girl that doesn’t love me at all. Why I fall in love with her when already she told before that better not to fall in love with her? Today, 4 July 2009, I finally get to contact her but I feel like I’m disturbing her or maybe I’m very annoying. Of cause if I would ask her whether I am disturbing her or not, sure the answer is no but her message make me feel that I am. My feeling now is very indescribable. I don’t know what I should do. My brain is burning. Her friend kept asking her whether she is with me. How would they know that I know her? She’s still a person that I can’t stop thinking of. There is no reason at all. I can only blame myself that I am ludicrous. Can someone tell me what I should do? I can’t forget her so it won’t be a nice way for me to forget about her.

I still didn’t get the line back yet, and that really make me very moody and emotional, but thanks to me my band buddy, Amir I’m well controlled this few days. And we have made a promise that we won’t use all those F word anymore because it’s very rude and it makes us look childish.

Jit Sin Symphonic Band wishes you all, all the best!!

My god-sis, Patsy is now at Kuala Lumpur studying. I don’t get to see her at all before she leaves, and that makes me feel very depressed.

Sis, wish you all the best and take care! I will always miss you!!^^

Marcus’s sister, Tricia thanks for the dinner that night. Although I don’t know you well but it’s really nice to meet you. Wish u all the best and take care!

My sister is going to Ipoh soon. I wish she will be able to get use to the environment there and also study well and GOOD LUCK!!

Joanne Yap is going to Singapore for further studies and I also don’t get to meet her at all. She’s pretty and young lady wish when she goes there won’t get bully. Hehe. Wish u all the best too!!

Why is everyone leaving me??