A New Start: October 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Baba Boom....I've landed flat on the ground. And i 'm at the end.

It has come to an end. My brain can’t take it anymore. Somehow, I feel that I think too much, but I realize that thanks to my thinking I manage to see the whole picture. Whatever I do now is to make everything go well. If in this process there’s anyone who hates me, I won’t blame them. I’ve made this decision and I won’t change until the times come. Sorry if I hurt anyone’s feeling, but that’s the only thing I can do. Let it go. I won’t be updating my blog until December. I won’t be answering any call until December, except for business or family’s call. I will hide myself aside. It’s time to be cruel. But it’s the only way I have. Hate me please! I’m sorry.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

To left or right?

Actually I don’t understand myself. I’ve made so many wrong things and I wish I could run away from everything, but I can’t. I wish my life I full of freedom, no limit of thinking and playing.

A book name “I care”
…..I’ve hurt an ant and I kick it away when it’s suffering. I left it aside and try to forget about it, but I’m to worry that it can’t walk or maybe get step by another human. Why I care for an ant? I don’t understand why I care for it and why I left it there. Could it be a mistake? ......I wish time can be reversing……

Ok. It’s too long to continue.

I know it will end soon. I can feel it. I don’t want people to get hurt and I want to end it now but it can’t. Just let time decide. It’s a sure that it will end soon. I’ve cool myself down to face it.T.T

Friday, October 16, 2009

Nothing much..

I got no mood today..
Just hope that tonight's performance will be ok..=(

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Sorry..

I will update my blog soon..

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I hate b*nd!!

I want to quit!!! I hate it!!! I won't be happy if I'm still in it!!!!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Shit you!!!!

I need to apologize for today’s post because it contains some vulgar words. I try not to but the freaking S*I*B (Stupid, idiot and bastard) have made me lose all my control. What in the earth have happen to those entire bastards? They got nothing better to do? Please fuck off from my life! Screaming like the gays that always walking here and there at Love Lane. It’s really a disgrace for boys.

There’s also another fellow who always make all his funny dirty jokes. He doesn’t know how to respect others. The way he talk makes others think that his not well educated. I will never blame people’s parents, but I pity his parent to have such useless, boorish and wayward son. I have to admit that I’m not smart or very polite, but at least I still know how to give respect to others parents. Do you know that you really stink when you sweat? I think you don’t realize, now I let you know. You stink like a pig in the deep black shit! Fuck off from my life. Raise your voice outside from my class, comment on my parents, acting like you’re the best, do you think you really good? I will never give any respect to such human like you! Fuck off! There’s whole bunch of shit out there, go join them and you will be like them infect you are already a shit! I’m really angry today until I feel like punching you today! Look back those times when you’re just form 2!!! You are different now! Is it after a person gets a position they will change? I hate you, you fucker!

S*I*B REALLY SUCK! Maybe people that are not in it won’t realize but from what I know, it sucks! A group of people will never improve if the person in charge is acting like his no-good-dirty-rotten-stupid-lousy-great-great-grandfather. And this guy is already elder than us by 10years++. He‘s not married yet, I guess everyone know why. He kept telling us he’s our brother. Please lah. I think he don’t realize how old he is. Look like shit and always talk bullshit.

You really suck Mr. **o* A*k K*on*.!
Why you all must spoil my day? You all want position in b**d, I already don’t want to fight for it with you all. What you all want some more? I’m just a normal member now, aren’t you all happy? I hate fuckers like you all. Dam shit! Can’t you all let me smile? I want to laugh like how the young and innocent kid does! I hate to tolerate will all this bullshit! Leave me alone! Or I can say my heart have already leave this shit b**d long time ago. I will try my best to leave. I say it I mean it.

I admire them!!

Anyway, for form 3’s student, wish you all the best!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Haizzz..

Look at the positive, go for the positive. I found that is time for me to make a change, a change to a better attitude, a change to a better live. Think back what I’ve done today, yesterday and the days before yesterday, I found that I’ve wasted too much time. MY studies is not as good as I 1^st came in to St. Xavier Institution, attitude getting worse, Starting to get lazy, lacking of responsibility I use to have and also my way of thinking.

I believe that if I don’t study well, no one will look up on me. No point being a good musician when my studies suck. My attitude is like shit! Where’s the way I communicate, the way I twist facts, the way I solve problem perfectly without anyone getting angry? I’ve lost all this! I need them back. How to study? Study smart? How? Anyone can help me? Please teach me!!! Exam coming soon and I’m not ready at all. If I don’t get good result I believe that I will hate myself until next year. Studying in my dim-witted class really make me feel scared. Everyday see all those sleepy faces, injuries around there body and lots more. Do they really want to study? I don’t mind if they don’t want to study but they have already affected me. I’m a person who can study when the class is noisy. I hate them for changing me; I hate myself for giving them a chance to change. There’s no one to blame except for me. I hate my life now, so messy.

I need to change! I have to change! I want to change!!!

Please give me some advice!!!thank..